I Hate Working

I discovered last week that my position will not be renewed for next year.  The assistant principle pulled me into his office explaining the situation and how there will not be enough kids in the program to justify having me on board for the next school year.  This really did come as a shock to me as I was told not 3 weeks ago that I was secure in my position and there wouldn't be any issues as far as that is concerned.  But last minute changes were made on the District's end of things which forced them to make some decisions beyond their control.  So the hunt in on once again for a full time job.

It is a relief to me in a way though, I was getting rather tired of the kids I deal with on a day to day basis.  But the sad truth of it all is I never quite grasped the behavior model that was to be utilized by the SPED teachers and myself.  Now there is about 60% of the behavior modeling system that I completely disagree with as a Sociologist, but the other 40% that I took no issue with never stuck in my brain.  I constantly found myself reverting to old habits which have always worked for me in the past and have helped to build relationships with the students I've been around.  The Behavior Modeling system didn't allow me the opportunities for that type of relationship building that I have successfully built into my subbing career in the least.  I have a sneaking suspicion that my inability, or unwillingness, to perform the aspects I disagreed with played a major part in the decision of my non-renewal.

However, if I were to look back on the whole experience of this school year, I would have to say I was excluded more than I was included.  My boss, Sarah, did her best to keep me updated and "in the know" with each of the students on her case load, but even she neglected to keep me informed of everything.  I was only included in one meeting which was at the beginning of the year.  After that, things constantly occurred that I never knew about until a week or two after.  I can't count on my two hands how many times we've had kids bump up and down in levels and how many times our kids had different IEP goal changes that were never relayed to me.  But worst of all, I found myself constantly interrupted by the two teachers I work with when I was processing with a student on their behavior.  While I still was used by both teachers in dealing with students, I equally felt belittled and constantly disregarded during behavior interventions.  I think that conditioning might have had something to do with my inability to use the behavior model effectively. 

While it sucks that I have to find a new job, I'm actually quite relieved that I don't have to do this again.  When you have two very qualified teachers who are so driven and motivated, it's really hard to do anything for them as they are always striving to do the very best in what they do.  I certainly hope the Para they find for the next school year is the match they are looking for within their team.

Studying = Failing.....

So I was in a Writing/English 8th grade class today and one student decided to write what seemed to be a mathematical equation.  If you can explain this to me, I would be much obliged because I don't get it!

No Study = Fail

Study = No fail

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No Study + Study = Fail + No Fail

(No + 1) study = (No+1) fail

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Study = Fail

This is a pretty common theme with middle schoolers these days; they try to give logical arguments to teachers why studying is a bad thing.  In the first five minutes the teacher decided to indulge the class and allow them to prove to him why this equation could be true.  A plethora of arguments were thrown out there, most of which consisted of ridiculous claims and poor use of the English language.  However, one student did say something which made some sense...

"Teachers give us so much homework and we become too tired to finish it.  I think teachers think that we just do homework all the time and not get tired."

While this argument makes sense, Students these days whine and complain about having way too much homework to do.  At the middle school I work at, most students have two daily classes, mainly English and Math, while having two periods that only run every other day.  The homework in the "every other day" classes are due on the day of class, which means they have homework due on Thursday, and have 5 days to complete the homework due for the following Tuesday.  These classes consist of Geography and/or History.  However, on the days they don't have those two academic courses, they have either art, band, technology, or computer class, depending on what the student wanted to take for that specific quarter.  These electives typically have little or no homework as everything is done in class.  So, to be honest, they only have homework in their two daily classes that is due everyday...if that.

However, homework in these two everyday classes consist of worksheets that are no more than 10 to 15 problems and/or questions.  Yeah, they get writing assignments, but the English teachers typically only ask for no more than two paragraphs (4 - 8 sentences per paragraph) for each assignment.  For the most part, teachers will give examples to help guide their students in the writing process when working at home and most likely allow them to start the assignment before the period is over.  Needless to say, this is NOT A LOT and it is NOT DEMANDING!

In the English class I was in today, the 8th graders were learning about Pathos, Logos, and Ethos.  After explaining these concepts with examples and instructions, the teacher allowed the students to grab some magazines and look for ads using one of these three rhetorical concepts.  You'd think they would be all about looking through magazines and ripping up pages, but no!  Every single students complained because it was "too much work" and they "didn't get it."  Conversations are great with these kids as they seem to enjoy talking about issues like abortion and how "people who have abortions should receive the death penalty", but when you ask them to think on their own, everything goes to Hell.  It's sad and disheartening, but so very true.

Remember, Remember The Month Of November....

So here I sit at my in-laws house, blogging about the Thanksgiving holiday and how awesome it should be.
But now, as I ponder upon the life I have had these past few months, and knowing what my kids at Lincoln middle school have to go home to, (or lack there of) it honestly makes me sad. Here I am, happy as can be, and my kids are probably back home NOT having the time of their lives. And, of course, this gets me thinking about other things such as children starving all over the world, families who have next to nothing and can't provide for themselves, mothers whose husband's have left them high and dry, and so on and so forth. And here I sit with this deluded sense that I should be thankful for everything around me. But the truth of the matter is there is no happy place in this world, except in our own imaginations.


I become so irritated with people who feel so good about themselves because they are sending a few bucks a month, through a program whose commercial they saw on T.V., to children who have literally no money to feed themselves. These types of people are also the ones who are proud they are saving the environment by driving hybrid automobiles and make sure they let everyone know about it. They also feel that the best way to serve God and be a good Christian is by sitting in church every Sunday and listen to the preacher, and then go home to completely contradict everything they "believe" within those church walls.


Hypocrisy is exceedingly flamboyant within the world today. You can't get around it, nor can you say it doesn't exist. It is the most consistent form of evil in the world and always has been. It is higher than murder, higher than adultery, higher than lying, higher than stealing....it is the only constant in the world, and people continually deny this. Whether it be verbally and non-verbally, hypocrisy exists so easily on Earth because it is the easiest way to live our lives.

We all want to be good people; we all want to show the world that we are a caring and loving race of creatures. And we do that by sending someone a few bucks a month, or driving hybrid cars, or something that resembles those things. And those people go through life thinking they have accomplished something and make themselves feel good about it. Yet these are the same people who drive mini-vans with Televisions in them, or have bought their kids I-pods because they "want one so bad" and "need one!" They say they can make sacrifices, yet they spend their money on unnecessary material things they don't need. I become so frustrated when I see people doing those types of things, and claiming they are doing good...that they are making sacrifices to help others. but this is far from the truth.


A sacrifice...a true sacrifice....would be me (or you) walking down the street and finding a homeless man or woman, take them into my life and helping them get started. I would give that person a few of my cloths, offer some money to get him or her on their feet, help them find a job, a house, and a way to live happily, until he or she can do it on their own and I can walk away knowing they will be fine.


A true sacrifice would be to go overseas to a foreign country and help rebuild homes, restore communities, and not get paid for it!


No one really knows what making a sacrifice really is. This is why so many children today have unhappy homes. The parents have children and realize they have to give those children their undivided attention and want out!


People think making a sacrifice is by mailing in a few bucks to starving children in another country. If you want to make a sacrifice for these children, leave your lives at home and go live with these children and MAKE THEM FOOD!


I don't know, maybe I'm just over analyzing things, but I don't know what to be thankful for since nothing is better. Things still suck in the world and people try to act like it doesn't exist or it isn't their problem. They say to be thankful to a God who provides everything. Yet there are people in the world who have nothing. I wish people everywhere would realize how stupid they are and start caring more about others than about themselves. Get away from your happy dappy, materialistic lives and make a REAL sacrifice to help others and stop claiming that the small, insignificant ways you "contribute" to society are actually making a big difference to make you feel good about yourself. It's selfish, and evil.


When the world has reached the level of peace and happiness where war and poverty doesn't exist, then and only then can we be truly happy as a race of humans.  But since I'll never see that in my lifetime most likely, the Month of November will always be for me a month where I realize I didn't do enough for others and I can only hope I do better next year.  I hope everyone can one day, feel the same way I do.