I Hate Working

I discovered last week that my position will not be renewed for next year.  The assistant principle pulled me into his office explaining the situation and how there will not be enough kids in the program to justify having me on board for the next school year.  This really did come as a shock to me as I was told not 3 weeks ago that I was secure in my position and there wouldn't be any issues as far as that is concerned.  But last minute changes were made on the District's end of things which forced them to make some decisions beyond their control.  So the hunt in on once again for a full time job.

It is a relief to me in a way though, I was getting rather tired of the kids I deal with on a day to day basis.  But the sad truth of it all is I never quite grasped the behavior model that was to be utilized by the SPED teachers and myself.  Now there is about 60% of the behavior modeling system that I completely disagree with as a Sociologist, but the other 40% that I took no issue with never stuck in my brain.  I constantly found myself reverting to old habits which have always worked for me in the past and have helped to build relationships with the students I've been around.  The Behavior Modeling system didn't allow me the opportunities for that type of relationship building that I have successfully built into my subbing career in the least.  I have a sneaking suspicion that my inability, or unwillingness, to perform the aspects I disagreed with played a major part in the decision of my non-renewal.

However, if I were to look back on the whole experience of this school year, I would have to say I was excluded more than I was included.  My boss, Sarah, did her best to keep me updated and "in the know" with each of the students on her case load, but even she neglected to keep me informed of everything.  I was only included in one meeting which was at the beginning of the year.  After that, things constantly occurred that I never knew about until a week or two after.  I can't count on my two hands how many times we've had kids bump up and down in levels and how many times our kids had different IEP goal changes that were never relayed to me.  But worst of all, I found myself constantly interrupted by the two teachers I work with when I was processing with a student on their behavior.  While I still was used by both teachers in dealing with students, I equally felt belittled and constantly disregarded during behavior interventions.  I think that conditioning might have had something to do with my inability to use the behavior model effectively. 

While it sucks that I have to find a new job, I'm actually quite relieved that I don't have to do this again.  When you have two very qualified teachers who are so driven and motivated, it's really hard to do anything for them as they are always striving to do the very best in what they do.  I certainly hope the Para they find for the next school year is the match they are looking for within their team.